Really? An “Everything Bagel” flour tortilla?
I found this on the shelf when I was looking for corn tortillas.
You know what I couldn’t find? Corn tortillas; simple corn tortillas.
Why exactly would you want an “Everything Bagel” tortilla? Are you confused? Are you not sure if you’re craving a bagel or a taco? Are you not sure if you’re feeling North East or South West? Are you not concerned that the hot sauce and cilantro will clash with your everything bagel flavor?
But here’s the important part. You know what I couldn’t find? A freakin’ corn tortilla! Just a plain old fashioned traditional, like they’ve made in Mexico since before Mexico was Mexico, corn tortilla; like corn tortillas that have been around for more than 10,000 years! They’ve been pushed off the shelf by the corporate machine that strives to lure you with ever increasing stimulation, with spiraling food addiction.
How do you feed the addicts who no longer respond to the normal dose? You increase the dose. You move on to bigger stimulation You up the ante with the Everything Bagel flour tortillas!
Have we been so bombarded with excess that a plain old corn tortilla no longer has a place on our table?
You know what else I couldn’t find? Yogurt. Yeah, you know what I’m gonna say: Plain old yogurt; plain old fashioned, whole milk yogurt. Just yogurt dammit!
I’ve spent weeks looking for plain old yogurt; just cultured whole milk yogurt. Sure, I can find low fat, and no fat. I can find Chobani Flip Strawberry Cheesecake yogurt. I can find YoCrunch low fat vanilla with M&Ms yogurt.
Stop! Low fat with M&Ms? What the ****? Do I need to explain this?
There’s yogurt with Oreos! And Low Fat Pumpkin Crisp yogurt. And OikosTriple Zero, 15g Protein, Nonfat Banana Cream, Greek Yogurt Cup ( 5.3 oz). But no ****ing YOGURT! You know: cultured cow’s milk, two ingredients: milk and bacteria (L. bulgaricus – yum). Just give me some good old fashioned, unadulterated, unprocessed (beyond pasteurization) cow’s milk yogurt. I’ll stir in my own M&Ms if I need to!
And then there’s this.
And don’t even get me started on the coffee aisle; or the chip aisle!